How to have productive conversations.
Over the last two years, we’ve watched in horror as the Israeli military has incessantly bombed, massacred, and starved the people of Gaza. The U.S. has lined up behind these atrocities, funding one of the greatest crimes of our lifetimes. Yet the mainstream media has continually failed to fully cover these horrors, and their context: more than 76 years of Israeli oppression of Palestinians.
As we move into the holidays, we may struggle to talk to our family members and loved ones about Israeli genocide. And as Jews and people of conscience, we have a responsibility to engage with those closest to us, seeking to move our communities away from Zionism and towards a future of justice for all people.
We want to have these conversations in the most productive way possible. This toolkit offers skills and approaches on how to talk to our family members and loved ones about Israeli genocide and our demand for an arms embargo — and how to engage beyond this moment in support of future of Palestinian liberation and justice for all people.
First, take a breath.
1. Know that you might get upset: These conversations can feel very heightened — for good reason. But remember, your goal is to move the person. Losing your temper is deeply justified — and almost always counterproductive to your goal. You’ll have the most productive conversation if you remain calm, measured, and strategic in how you engage.
2. Think of this as an opportunity to organize: Be ready to listen, ask questions about how the other person has formed their perspective, and keep your goal in mind: moving the person into support for ending U.S. weapons sales to the Israeli government.
Approach the conversation intentionally.
3. Ground yourself in the facts. The onslaught of devastation in the news is overwhelming. And, we’re all seeing different things: mainstream media outlets have been suppressing coverage of the extent of the genocide’s horrors. The other person might not have all the facts: See our breakout box below for some crucial data points, or read JVP’s in-depth explainer from 2024, which breaks down how we know that Israel is committing a genocide against Palestinians in Gaza.
Useful facts and context
- Well over 62,000 Palestinians have been killed by the Israeli military since October 2023. Counting deaths by preventable diseases and other effects of Israel’s genocide — and the countless dead still buried under the rubble — the real death toll is likely in the hundreds of thousands.
- This is a war on children:
- Israel has been indiscriminately bombing Gaza, where half the population is children. Over 18,000 children have been killed. That’s nearly a third of all recorded deaths.
- There are more child amputees in Gaza than any other place in the world.
- The U.N. has officially declared famine in Gaza, with over half a million Palestinians facing “catastrophic conditions characterised by starvation, destitution and death.”
- This is an “entirely man-made” famine, according to the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification (IPC), and is the direct result of the Israeli government intentionally blocking food, medicine, and water from reaching Palestinians in Gaza.
- The Israeli military has killed over 2,000 Palestinians as they tried to collect whatever meager rations it allows into Gaza.
- The Israeli military has relentlessly targeted hospitals, with only 19 of Gaza’s 36 hospitals still even partially functioning. It’s also targeted critical infrastructure. With a severe lack of access to healthcare, and as sewage runs into the streets and clean water becomes harder and harder to access, disease runs rampant.
- A majority of Jewish voters support the U.S. withholding shipment of some weapons to Israel until the Israeli government agrees to an immediate ceasefire, and only 32% of Americans — and 8% of Democrats — approve of Israel’s military actions in Gaza.
4. Explain yourself simply, and avoid shorthand or jargon. Describe the situation in your own words. When talking to a skeptical family member who is ready to be outraged, using terms like “genocide” right off the bat may be less effective than simply describing the situation, like how the Israeli government is indiscriminately killing tens of thousands of Palestinians and blocking life-saving aid from reaching starving children.
5. Listen first — then ask them what they know! Often, people know less than they think they do. By simply asking calm questions and sharing facts, you can help them realize that they may be missing pieces of the story.
Reframe the problem.
6. Lead with shared values: “All people deserve to live in safety and freedom.” “Every life is precious.” While we know that Zionism is a politics that sacrifices the lives and rights of Palestinians in favor of Jewish supremacy, returning to these values and re-evaluating them in the context of the reality of the present can be a guidepost for the conversation.
7. Get to the point. Ending Israel’s genocide is the starting point for any just future. If our value is human life, the only way we can preserve every life is by ending the current catastrophic violence against Palestinians. If your family member is focused on the events of 10/7, you can ground in your shared values that every life is precious, and return to the history of more than 76 years of Israeli oppression of Palestinians, knowing that violent oppression only begets more violence.
8. Stay on the subject: We know people might bring up counter-arguments. It’s important to stay respectful, while also shutting down disinformation and guiding the conversation back to the core point: Ending U.S. weapons sales to Israel is still our best route to ending the horrific violence we’re seeing right now.
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